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-   -   Break ups ... (http://boatips.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15037)

raptor667 12-12-2011 10:40 PM

Sorry to here you are in the situation you are in Snuffles. I know this isn't what you want to hear but the only person qualified to make a decision like that for you is you. When I broke up with my first wife it was a bit messy and a lot of people I considered friends listened to her side and accepted it as fact. Not a fun thing to go through.

If you feel it's in your best interest to not be where you are and you can do something about it then it's a decision only you can make. I could tell you to do something but in all honesty I don't know the situation and it has no consequences for me ( other than having you pissed at me ).

Whatever you decide to do I wish you every happiness.;)

Sparcky 12-12-2011 10:46 PM

Oh Snuffles... reading that text made me think of my own experience. My ex-husband was controlling. He was my first boyfriend, 8 years older than me, and the only guy that had shown any real interest in me. He one time told me that he liked the fact that I was so young (I was 20 at the time) because it allowed him to "teach" me how things were supposed to work. I followed him for years and when I finally got my own job (he did not want me to work) he said that it was a bad influence on me because I became too independent. We have been divorced for 2 years and now I have the greatest guy! He is supportive and treats me as a true equal and partner. I know it will be hard. You seem to have a good support group and a good head on your shoulders. Good luck and we are here for you. It WILL get better... I promise..

*Sparcky*

frankywdmn 12-13-2011 12:23 AM

I'll never understand relationships. :/

lovesnuffles 12-13-2011 12:39 AM

LOL Franky, me neither!! :P

Sparcky, glad someone else understands! But sorry you had to go through it. I seem to attract controlling guys though ... My second boyfriend was EXTREMELY controlling. He was way worse than Kyle is and made no motions to even dress it up and make it pretty like Kyle does. Kyle tries to be controlling in a more subtle way. He tries to think he's telling me something "nice" like that text, that really just pisses me off and I can see right through it. The main problem with him is not that he wants to "teach" me how things should be, but that he thinks he knows EVERYTHING ((he'll tell you this himself)) and his way is the only way.

NASAAN101 12-13-2011 05:48 AM

Hey Angelle,
don't hate me! But My mom and dad broke-up when i was 18-mouths old! and I know what i like growing up with out a dad!! My step-dad didn't come into my life til i was 4 or 5-years old!! So my mom and I are really close. But if you not happy, thing about the boys ok!!! Do you really went them growing up with out a dad!!! Just something to think about ok!
Nikki

lovesnuffles 12-13-2011 01:32 PM

Nikki, staying together for the kids never works out. It only makes the parents unhappy which makes the kids even more unhappy. I grew up without a dad too, and I'm perfectly fine with it. But I hate my dad, so ...

frankywdmn 12-13-2011 03:25 PM

My dad ****s too. But so does my mom...

lovesnuffles 12-13-2011 04:32 PM

Lol Franky, my mom is no picnic, but she's my best option

frankywdmn 12-13-2011 04:38 PM

Yeah, it still ****s having to settle for the lesser of two evils; but I'm not saying you shouldn't do it.

WiccanWolf88 12-13-2011 05:43 PM

Snuffles, that text is very condescending....it's almost like he's saying, "I know these issues are your fault, but I forgive you and I will teach you the right reactions to have to me." Wow. I never thought my Ex was going to be physically abusive, either. But it just escalated from mental to throwing me across the room when I finally got more independence. Then I found a great guy I've been with for 10+ years. It will work out in the end.


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